CHILDISH PRAYER

 

When I was a boy I prayed to god

For a new bike for me

Than I realized that god

Doesn’t work like that you see

So I stole one instead

And asked him to forgive me

THE YOUNG MONK AND THE ABBOTT

 

One day many years in the past

A young monk arrived at a monastery.

To assist other monks with the canon and laws

By making hand written copies

But he notices very quickly

That all of us are copying from copies,

And not from the original texts

So he goes to the Abbott with a query

 

He tells the Abbott of his concern

That any error in the first copy

No matter how small it may be

Would be duplicated in each subsequent copy

The abbot says to the boy

"We have been doing it for centuries

Copying from the copies

But you have a good point, sonny."

 
The abbot goes down to the dark caves

To the archives beneath the monastery
where the original manuscripts are held

Kept locked in a vault for safety

 

Hours go by and nobody sees the abbot
he misses his meals and prayers

The young monk gets worried

And goes to look for him downstairs

 

He finds him banging his head on a wall

Wailing, "We missed the “R”
His forehead is bloody and bruised

And the boy thinks that will lave a scar

 

The young monk asks the abbot,

"What's wrong?" why do you create
Crying the Abbott replies,

"The word was Celebrate!!!”

GOD ONLY

 

Yes I believe in God

I believe in God the father of all

I believe in the Ten Commandments

God handed to Moses

A better set of rules to live your life by

Does not exist

I’m not comfortable calling myself a Christian however

I was baptized a Christian

And raised as one

And I attend a Christian church

But I'm not a true Christian

I don’t turn the other cheek

WHO IS THERE

 

Who is there?

In my darkest hours

When pain wracks my body

When dark thoughts plague me

Who is it who sustains me?

 

Who is there?

At times of anguish

When I feel so alone

When I feel all hope is gone

Who lifts me and guides me

 

Who is there?

In the depths of my despair

When I see no end

When I seek release

Who is it?

Who will take my pain

 

He is there

When the pain ends

When darkness is banished

In the light of love

My lord god will keep me

NO MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE

 

There is a famous quote about God

Not giving you more than you can handle

Well there are times that I just wish

He didn't have quite so much faith in me

LUNCH TIME IN THE CAFETERIA

 

At a catholic school at lunch time one day

As The children queued up in an orderly way

The first thing that confronted the pupils

On the end of the counter was a large pile of apples

By the apples a nun had written a note saying

"Take only ONE because God is watching."

As they made their way along the counter

The canteen rang out with childish laughter

Chocolate chip cookies stood in a large pile

With a label which made them all smile

A child had written a note for the pupils,

"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

OUT OF THE MOUTH’S OF BABES – DOWN ON THE BEACH

 

A Dad was on the beach with his children

When his four-year-old son ran up to him,

Took his hand and dragged to the shore

Where a seagull lay dead in the sand before him

"Daddy, what happened to it?" the boy asked

Dad replied "He died and went to Heaven son,"

The boy thought a moment and then said,

"Did God throw him back down here then?"